no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
