Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
