it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
