Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
