Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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