He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
