yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
