i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
