i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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