I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
