just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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