the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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