the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
