I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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