Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
