she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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