lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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