I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
