i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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