Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
