So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
