I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
