i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
