oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
