and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
