Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
