We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She's the barista slut.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
