you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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