I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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