I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
