Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we're so committed to being not committed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
