I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
