Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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