He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
