He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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