I wannas sexs uuuuu
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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