just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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