is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
