Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Barsexuality is the new black.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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