Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
