Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
