its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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