Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
