I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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