Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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