Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
