I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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