I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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