Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
