I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
