I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
