How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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