Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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