He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
try to milk me bitch
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
