I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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