CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
