Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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