brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
