I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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