I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
